Nowadays, the access to information (at least in the areas which we like to call “civilized”), is as free as a tax dodger, wondering in the exotic realms of a tax haven. Even occupations or spheres of life considered taboo in the public space at a given moment, are now within everyone's reach to be studied, confronted, dissected, encouraged or, on the contrary, vehemently beaten. If a few decades ago, the understanding of a love experience in three, for example, was not possible without someone to live it on his/her own skin or to be surprised when others shared with superiority their extraordinary experience, today it is enough for those who are curious to access the Internet and navigate in tranquillity, wherever their will or pure chance may carry them, enlarging, thus, almost overwhelming... their “horizon”.
This avalanche of information has its advantages, but also drawbacks, which are manifested even in the life of a couple. Not for few times, persons lacking a relevant experience in this respect, may document undisturbed in order not to be taken by surprise when their partner claims them a certain type of sexual favour, or when they wake up with their imagination and nonconformism out of the blue, not to mention the cases frequent enough, expressed simply by a bitter desire to discover (initially theoretical) the erogenous zones that they hope to ”magically” touch them and tear off genuine cries of pleasure.
The virtual world abounds in articles, collective stories, case studies, and materials more or less scientific, from which women can find out that gentlemen do not react only to instinctual nakedness, total disinhibitions and hot kisses under the navel, but there is a whole mapping of touch-sensitive male areas, and men, in turn, can discover (often with astonishment) that women melt like ice cream under the sunshine of the Saharan Sun when they are praised for their presence and spirit, but only if those aphrodisiac phrases come in tandem with some caresses executed not randomly, but in well-targeted points.
There is, however, a limit. Theoretical training helps, but is far from guarantying a practice always satisfactory. Because theory, no matter how explicit and thorough it might be, it does not apply as a general rule. And that is why, although it is indicated, useful and of common sense to know by heart the areas of excitation points (as they themselves are lined, classified, and analysed by microscope by the authors of the most current sexology regulations) does not mean, however, that it is also good enough. Knowledge may not be mechanically reviewed every evening just like lessons of anatomy and nor materialized only mentally in accordance with the particularities written black on white in manuals (online) relevant for contemporary era. Obtaining satisfaction in the bedroom, imposes a personalised approach, supported with intuition and attention, together with a real concern for the pleasure of your pair. More specifically, a context that brings together the following conditions:
Discovering and respecting the peculiarities of the other one. Even if the holy internet will sell you invariably the tip that your male partner likes very much to be touched on the scalp, pinched by his bottom and bitten by his ear, and the female partner partner loves more than anything to be smelled on the neck, kissed on the nipples and touched on her thighs, it is possible that the virtual recommendations to fit in over 90% of cases, but not as far as you are concerned.
In the case of your pair, things can look and feel totally different. It is pointless, therefore, to pay a particular attention to improperly chewing his/her ear lobe, when the gesture is succeeded by a gloomy grimace, visible right from space. Bring to question the teachings of famous sexologists who give their word of honour that men and women gasp in unison after such dental tenderness. Check if the information is valid also in respect to your personal half pair, abandoning the pre-established routine when the reaction is negative.
Ladies, get rid of the idea that it is enough to appear naked and impatient, with a flavoured condom between your teeth, when you are going to wake up the interest of your partner barely back from work, with the briefcase in one hand, shopping in another and obscene grumbles on their lips, at the address of his manager or unbearable superiors. No matter how convenient this variant might seem to women who prefer that males do the whole thing, just like some well-trained slaves, and they, the females, to be just beautiful, available and totally depilated, some males react vehemently (or they look tacitly for an “other one”) when they found that in fact sensuality and lasciviousness shown with “feminity”, is nothing but a crazy passivity sister with laziness or deceptive facade of a total lack of fantasy.
Not everything that is said about how men get excited is 100% true, as nor everything that it is said about the excitability of women does accurately depict reality. This philosophy can be useful also to gentlemen who are repeated, in a manner almost hypnotizing, that their halves need a prelude long as a summer day, filled with many romantic tries, repeated touches and soft whispers, inspired from all sorts of grim poets, but with success to the weak sex. It is true that the followers of Eve need something more than the image of an erect to fall on the bed, on the kitchen’s table or in the chair in the hallway, but to endlessly analyse the climax just because that's what it says “in the books”, might lead to the disagreement of your lover. At least in those evenings when her libido is high and despite her condition of being vulnerable to sweeties, she doesn't need either serenade (under her balcony), no stars or moon in the sky, nor the hell of a work of caution to cede with a smile, almost lost from reality, the hot thrill that feels all over her body.
In other words, the basic rule in this chapter is that there is no basic rule. Some people can go crazy for what other hate, and the general painting on the erogenous zones certainly has many peculiarities depending on the case. So it is essential to invest time and energy to find out what kinds of words, movements, gestures or caresses excite the one next to you, respecting their preferences.
The importance of fantasies and diversity. Another factor which goes hand in hand with the “correct” stimulation of the preferred erogenous zones of each, refers to the contribution of fantasy in the bedroom. Maybe not everyone loves the playful spirit and spices practiced in two, but the novelty should never be avoided when it comes to experience hot sensations in a calculated way. At least, as long as you do not intend sexual life to be as "thrilling" as a day spent in a locked elevator, with an overactive retiree, passionate about prescriptions and riddles. And the variety, because it's about it, can be achieved through role-plays, alternation of places and positions in which to consume your love, the use of sex toys or accessories designed to unleash your imagination. The scoop is wide, preferences though give the tone.
Exploring the hot possibilities and the secret weaknesses, it will have a greater impact if it will be carried out in a context in which you daydream periodically, with the nostalgia of a murderer who always returns to the scene. And after all, no matter how unusual seems to be the fantasy that will secretly attract you (but not in the sense of bizarre like “maybe it would be very interesting to have sex while we eat, when the house burns or when guests are waiting in the next room”), take your courage and share your half pair your secret desires. Listen to his ones then, in order to decide together what is feasible and what is not.
The surprise elements, the introduction of the optimum dose of “craziness” and the setting up of the favourite extravaganza will ultimately draw the line separating a trivial sex from one that will consistently delight your senses.
Trust and lack of inhibitions. If you bet that you know “perfectly” how to guess to your new partner the ultrasensitive areas (this being “the dispute” of the bet), and the loser will need to support an entire evening of karaoke of punk songs, having of course, the certainty that you will win the challenge, you can fix from now your voice and exercise your tolerance for the ridicule... Because you'll be defeated with class and style. Giving the other one pleasure does not represent a mechanical process in which you only need to press the suitable buttons (as you have read or heard who knows where). What's important is how the buttons are pressed, the moment you do it, not to mention the order you choose. Synchronous impossible to achieve, for example, after just a first Synchrony impossible to be carried out, for instance, after only a first meeting of about an hour or two, in which you endearingly stare to a pseudo-unknown, while she consumes her dinner, telling among smiles and nibbles, her existentialist curiosities, her everyday platitudes or great plans for the future.
It is a fact: psychological comfort amplifies the intensity of pleasure. When the members of a couple lack trust in each other, either because they do not know each other enough, or because they modestly get along on intimate plan, there instantly intervene inhibitions, self-censorship and relatively justified fear, according to which the comrade of “play” may react unpredictably (in a negative sense) to the proposed amorous scenario. In such delicate moments, it may be that for men not to be of any use the guide illustrated by miraculous exercises for the “pampering” of point G, and women don't even get helped nor by the top five-touches favoured by the modern Don Juans of history, documentation read in fact, breathlessly a night ago. Outside a framework to inspire opening and safety, even the most artistic movements executed by the two in the bedroom (or anywhere else), in accordance with the theories learned and with their own past experience, may become awkward, with no effect, leaving the poor people with swollen lips and with a memory not quite good to put in the frame of successful experiences.
At the opposite side, those who have learned to be themselves in the presence of their partner, slightly over passing the male obsession for the size and the feminine one of abusively deposed kilograms on the hips, thighs and bottom, or the tendency to constantly refuse the sexual positions that defy the regular things and gravity, have more chances to enjoy each other and together, of all the possibilities that go through their minds to effectively press their “buttons”, without boring reps, unnecessary extensions or breaks as annoying as commercials during a good movie.
* * *
Any sexual encounter similar to a subway trip, where stations are already known, is crazy and incomplete, no matter how advanced your notions are on erogenous and less erogenous areas, sexual stimuli or orgasms. Personalizing erotic scenarios is the one that makes the difference. And, in its virtue, you have to learn the particularities of the other, to know each other’s fantasies (at least those which are not liable to send him behind bars), allowing them to feel free in their relationship with you. “At least” that.