You and your girlfriend have made the decision to do that! You are modern, flexible, open to new and with a satisfying sexual life. It's normal to be curious to what might happen if you expand your curiosity beyond the couple.
The Internet abounds in ads, the media is increasingly addressing topics that are considered taboo until recently, and soon you will come to the conclusion that at least it has to be tried. Everything sounds interesting and fun.
But will it be tolerable for both partners? In most cases, only one of the members has the curiosity and the initiative to participate to such an extravagance, and therefore it is necessary to convince the other of the benefits of “trying” or even of permanent engaging in such a style of life. You have to admit that a woman will find it easier to draw her lover or husband into a group adventure than a man who will have to show patience and fantasy to conceive/envisage the strongest arguments in this sense.
Well, suppose you've talked about it a couple of months before, and you're both confident that you can admire each other in privacy with other people. In fact, just by talking and imagining the whole story itself, you feel somewhat excited and end up every time doing sex more often than usual. Of course, discuss the rules, because the action itself involves some preliminary arrangements, namely: safe sex, the same room, both partners be attracted to the other couple, etc. And... there you are!
First of all, you must protect yourself and your potential partners. With regard to current concerns about sexually transmitted diseases such as AIDS, syphilis, gonorrhea, chlamydia and other specific infections, the use of condoms should not offend anyone. If you are a person involved in swinging for the first time, it is highly recommended that you perform your analyses (tests), obtaining a “complete blood picture” that can highlight all possible venereal conditions, including Herpes or Hepatitis A, B or C. Those who are not willing to consider the precaution in question, act selfishly and irresponsibly.
Keep up with the right. In your first attempt in the world of swinging, you may feel a little troubled and anxious. Some swingers want to share the whole experience and do not feel at ease if the couple leaves the room in someone else's company. Everyone has the right to their own feelings and all feelings are real, having compulsorily to be respected.
To avoid embarrassment or disappointment, discuss beforehand with each other, as well as with more experienced couples, what can be done in case of inhibitions. You will both feel more comfortable if you find out how various “advanced” couples have handled their first experience of this kind.
You will probably meet people who will “break the ice” presenting themselves with other pairs they know. It's their way of making you feel more at ease. Get into conversation with them (talk to them) and you will find that most of them will be happy to answer any questions you ask. Be open and honest! Tell them from the very beginning that you are for the first time on the verge of such a circumstance and you will be amazed at how empathic with your fears can be those engaged in the way of life you dream of.
Even if you are advised to be confident and sociable, do not be “too insistent.” Many couples who are new to swinging often have unrealistic expectations and are not prepared to cope with the rejections that can occur naturally. Freshly washed, scented and neatly dressed people have more chances to establish contacts. Do not let personal physical idiosyncrasies prevent you from feeling good. No one is perfect, although it is normal for the new swingers to see others as more appealing or more expressive than themselves. But that's just because they already have a certain experience. Do not let your mind be your enemy. Be prepared to deal with refusals too - do not take it personally.
Whether you are at a club, at home or in the middle of a private party, you are there to feel good and to enjoy unhindered pleasure in the presence of those who have discovered and encourage a new social dimension. Once you are familiar with the environment and your hosts, try to become relaxed, denying yourself that you are in a particular position. Do not hesitate to introduce yourself to others. You will quickly understand that they are eager to receive you and help you to quickly integrate into their animated circle of sincere friendship.
Here are some tips for beginners:
• Be prepared for anything - take with you everything you think you might need. You can make up a small luggage with lingerie or bathrobes, body lotions, shower gels, hair brushes, comb, toothbrush and toothpaste, mouthwash, deodorant, perfume, condoms, etc. If you plan on staying longer, take inclusively clothes for changing for the next day.
• Be clean - nothing is more repellent than a sweaty body or a bad breath. Even if you have a shower and gargle before you leave home, it is always a good idea to refresh your breath before you start a possible intimate interaction.
• Alcohol and drugs - most of us do not consume drugs, but a little beverage facilitates relaxation. Excess (out of fear or bravado) seriously affects physical performance, not to mention the rejection of others. If you turn in at such a party drugged or drunk, you are certainly not in the right place, nor have you chosen the right lifestyle.
• What you can wear (for women) - a sexy dress is very appropriate, but it's the first time and you're not sure what you intend to do, keep it for the next time.
The most important thing is to feel good, manifest your fantasies, explore your sexuality and enjoy everything that this lifestyle offers, with enthusiasm, humor and a positive attitude.