Ménage à trois with a woman

Ménage à trois with a woman

Whether you're a man or a woman, there is, in equal measure, the possibility to have thought, at least once in your life, about the idea that you would like to experience sex in three. Especially that the arguments as the temptation of the “forbidden fruit”, the novelty of the situation and the unusual pleasure, is pleading reasonable in favor of the tempting idea!

How about, however, the negative light in which curiosity became reality is regarded in general? Isn’t it said that only warmed adolescents, men who cannot control their sexual instincts or easy women occasionally spice their privacy with parties “played” by having a teammate in addition? Is this superlative what defines one's secret fantasies of males everywhere, reserved only to those (too) lacking inhibitions or actors in the industry XXX? Is this type of “escapade” totally incompatible with the status of serious and respectable person, who swore that will not make a slip in the absence nor in the presence of the partner?

And yet... what if you approached the subject in an opened discussion with your pair, even with the implicit risk to sleep on the balcony or to survive without the credit card for a whole week?

When it comes to what is and what is not allowed in the sexual life, things are not as simple and clearly defined as they may seem at the first sight. Deviations from standard practices are incriminated by the majority, which generally boasts that “she” would never commit acts of recklessness such as exceeding the regular number of sexual protagonists (two), failing to comply with the indicated area (the bedroom) or of classical routine (with the distribution of roles already well established in which the man is the dominator, and the woman the humble “doer”). 

Given the situation in question, it is only natural for you to feel a persistent knot in your throat when you start to worry about existentialist matters like extending your sexual horizon or diversifying the erotic repertoire usually composed of the positions cyclically resumed and tenderness rendered automatic in time. Things worsen substantially when on your list of revolutionary ideas is taking shape more or less discreetly, including your desire to invite a second woman in the middle of “marital” mystery. Desire, which typically is inevitably followed by the question: “How could I make my half soul such a proposal without generating a storm generating heavy damage?”

The question is relevant, and the reactions... indeed unpredictable. Having a partner passionate by porno movie, in love with sex and susceptible to change does not guarantee that you will receive a big “YES!” on his part, who, in addition to the agreement of richening the traditional love formula, will testify you in addition, that the “ménage a trois” is his main dream from childhood. As well as nor having a conservative partner does not imply the certainty of the fact that you'll get a wild treatment, in which there will be pans or plates flying with anger toward you, when saying the “indecent” proposal. 

It is true, you can predict easily the possible answer, depending on how well you know your half soul. But to suspect, doesn't also mean to know it for sure. Even if you are, then, sure that your request will be approved without any kind of storm-bringing up broken glass or decibels, it won't do any harm to act, however, cautiously. And if you're willing to put your hand into the fire that everything you will be served on a tray is an indignant and monosyllabic refusal, it wouldn't harm, however... some hope (you cannot know what miracle you will have the privilege to take part of). 

In both cases, it is important to find the most suitable way to explore together with the partner the possibility of love in three. And do not underestimate the importance of the following questions:

How to open the topic? Introducing in discussion such a subject that requires leaving the zone of comfort of the couple and the confrontation with a series of limits taken involuntarily from society or deliberately assumed, represents a challenge to be dealt with gloves and wisdom.

Both the way, as well as the moment when you choose to “throw the bomb” can make a significant difference. If you think, therefore, that it is good to reveal your fantasy when you are on a visit to parents, when you count your monthly debts or when you are in full sex act and cannot refrain from subtle findings such as: “It’s like something is missing. Or someone...! “, it's a good idea to think twice before saying out loud your wish. As it is a difficult topic to digest, even for those pairs something more nonconformist, there must be a certain prior preparation of the issue.

Avoid approaching suddenly and directly the problem, especially when you do not have the exercise of philosophizing together with the partner, on the edge of themes which induce on the idea of getting out of the spice less and rigid box of a common sexual life. Observe if there is at least a theoretical match between his or her preferences and the aspirations generally recognized as taboo. Sex in three is not quite on the most affordable rank in the hierarchy of the “craziest sexual things” with which couples could play. So, if the chosen one of your heart wrinkles his/her nose even at the possibility of applying to suits or role games, the less she will react positively to the initiative of involving another person in the “shameful” activities from the bedroom.

Act, therefore, progressively and delicately. Release the tension from the atmosphere with great sense of humor. Make sure that the proposals submitted will not offend her feelings, will not create confusion and insert doubt concerning the attachment had toward the partner or on the relation in its essence. Do not call on to restraint, manipulation or various conditions, by threatening your pair with leaving her, depriving her from sex, the prohibition to watch games or soap operas... mimicking a profound inner suffering installed on the fund of inhuman refusal. And don't expect the answer to be affirmative from the very beginning. Such decisions often require time and reflections as serious about its consequences. Reflections which is good for you also to have. But before proceeding to the facts and not after.

How to find the third person? After secrets have been placed under microscope, fantasies shared and decisions validated, it is time to have a new “family meeting” in order to make a plan for recruiting the young lady in additional. The event will not be exempt from obstacles, dilemmas and difficulties, whereas the selection cannot be carried out by means of a “humanitarian” appeal made on the national television channel or through a contest for miss “Ménage a trois” organized at the place of work.

Keep in mind that in all this equation, secrecy is the essential element, so, asking your neighbor, a colleague at work or the housekeeper who weekly cleans your house, if she doesn't want to take part at a bath in the Jacuzzi with you and your partner, is not exactly the smartest decision that you can take. 

Most of the times, an unknown person is a more secure alternative than a close one, whom you can meet subsequently, at every step, rising up situations with maximum concentration of inadequacy and ridiculousness. 

Either you “recruit” her on some dating sites, either you approach her in one of your getting out in the city, it is important not to be hasted, but not even to transform your search in a true examination with beauty tests, practical skills, general culture and emotional compatibility. The purpose, is in fact an erotic one and not to decipher together the mysteries of Egyptian pyramids, the origin of UFO’s or quantic physics applied in everyday’s life. And in no way to develop romantic feelings for the person in question, sex being the optional ingredient, introduced just like that, in order to anticipate remove the boredom. 

No! The primary objective is the one to make you feel better, which means that you must like the “chosen one” only physically and she must attract you both... sexually.

At this stage, not at all easy of the “operation”, it is good for men not to fall prey to the temptation to involve any ex-girlfriend, without obligations and prejudices, in the future sexual experience, next to the official partner. No matter how tempting would be the image of the two covered with whipped cream and chocolate syrup, a potential meeting, even if intentional, of the former and the current one, is likely to trigger a war that may be completed with at least a victim seriously injured (if not physically, then certainly emotionally). And more than certain, you do not wish to participate in such a thing.

How will the whole story be carried out? After all preliminary preparations, a bit of alcohol for courage and a few processes of consciousness, in which the parties compare separately and in secret until the last moment, the advantages and disadvantages of such a defiance of familiarity, here comes that day in which the enthusiasm increases in proportion to the tension, doubts and fear the unknown. 

As the fantasy begins to be shaped in real plan, you'll discover with stupor that the much-desired performance has a degree of difficulty something higher than the materials viewed on TV, where the whole love scenario is carried out with an almost Swiss accuracy. Don’t be surprised, if, in this whole innovative context, the imagination will be permanently provoked by questions such as “What should I do now?”, “Where should I put my hand? “, “How to share my attention and testosterone in two?” or “Is it normal to look my partner satisfied by another woman?”. 

The dice have been cast, so everything that remains to be done is to play the game for which you have prepared for quite a while now, without despair when desynchronizations, discrepancies or moments of silence will make you ask what force persistently unknown in the universe corrupted to such a horror. 

Being a first experience of this kind, mistakes are implicit and absolutely normal. The dynamic is learned on the way, and the only theory which you must acquire before the big adventure is that of equality: no one should be left out, ignored or marginalized.

Or else, what would be the sense of the third persons if the couple members focused their attention only one on each other, while the special guest draws back quietly in a corner, armed with a big bag of popcorn, without anyone to penalize her passivity? 

Or, why would it be called “ménage a trois” and not a pretext for infidelity, if the man would totally forget the existence of the partner, dealing exclusively with the new joiner and his own need for the exploration of sexual diversity (this is otherwise valid for the woman also, who can find surprisingly and unleashed, her mysterious bisexual valences, that can make her totally forget about the “traditional” way)?

It is indicated for caresses, kisses and final pleasure to “get” to all of you. And everything to remain at the stage of manifestations of “carnal” love. Roles must, therefore, be well delimited, so that that no one to remain under the impression that he/she is in a “plus” or that he/she is playing in an inappropriate play. 

Even if men have, in general, have a tendency to take initiative and to guide, at their own will the interaction in the bedroom, in this particular case, the control should not be monopolized dictatorially by a single person. Being outnumbered, at least this time, it would be preferable for gentlemen to grant complete freedom to the feminine team that certainly will know how to assert the advantage for the supreme “good” of all!

How can you prevent “side effects”? The consequences of introducing this type of sexual act in the agenda of the couple are not generally valid. If for certain pairs, sex in three can have beneficial effects, increasing the confidence between partners, revealing new techniques for the sexual expression, throwing into the air the routine and all previous barriers, for others, it can be proved to be nothing but a trap well hidden. As a drug with side effects of the most unfortunate or a candy with sweet coating and bitter interior. 

To be immune in front of such a final in which black balls significantly exceed the white ones, you must be, in the first place, both convinced that a party in three does not affect the stability of the couple, that the emotional connection that you have developed until then is beyond the failure or the success of a quirky and less predictable experience. 

The honest consent, without being forced, is also another element which can predict if the effects of the “love triangle” will be positive or negative. 

It is understood that the woman who accepts such a challenge only for the sake of the partner, keeping inside her major reserves concerning the morality, usefulness or satisfaction of a party in three, will not pass the happiest moments of her life nor during or after the bisexual episode tolerated out of politeness. And accumulated frustrations will fall, obviously, on the life of couple, taking the shape of anger, jealousy or guilt. 

Jealousy, as a side effect, can be manifested including in the case of those ladies sure on them, eager for an adventure eccentric both for the “welfare” of the whole, as for her personal curiosity to try the thrill of excitability with a person of the same sex, without having questioned in advance and seriously her own sexual orientation. Women are extremely competitive when it comes to the attention, heart or the penis of a man. That is why, in a so sensitive context, even the most reasonable of the representatives of fair sex, might feel her territory threatened, becoming possessive and fearful for what “belongs” to her.

On the other hand, it is possible that the men, despite the common fantasy to “hold” more women at the same time (written probably in their genetic code), to somehow feel beyond the situation when they actually find themselves in bed with two naked “offers”, beautiful and wild, performing thus less spectacular, in a manner that would make them honor only if prelude would be prohibited by law, and the minute would count three times more seconds than conventionally. 

It is understood thus why, in addition to exaltation, freshness and widening the horizon of intimacy, sex in the extended version (numerically), also brings a certain pressure for both men and women. And the question that won't give them both peace at all, but having distinct echoes for each of them, is: “Will I raise to the height of expectations of the other one?”.

So, ladies are afraid that they will never be the same interesting again after their partner had the opportunity to see her in parallel with another woman, and gentlemen that they will not be sufficiently able to get to a good end and with honor the “double” test.

 Reaffirming the value and the important place in the couple is, therefore, essential after the event instinct with pleasures, but also by the multiple feelings of uncertainty (justified or not). 

* * *

Any realm undiscovered yet, any mountain unclimbed and any sea not sailed, exerts a fantastic and stunning mirage on all those who want to know you, to climb, to explore...

The attraction of the unknown plays out over and over with the same intensity, regardless of the fact that it is a new job, a book read for the first time, or an adventure... be it sexual. 

Any choice we make also involve risks. Even when what we put in balance is to “overcome” versus “to respect” the typical boundaries specific to the relationship in which we are involved. Each of these possibilities may bring satisfactions and inconveniences alike. Each one can make us happy or unhappy... sometimes in the same time. 

Everything in life depends on the way in which we assume our own decisions and, in the case of sex in three, of course, the same rule applies. 

As a conclusion, it should be said that the idea of a trio adventure is far from being a relevant love experience, but essential for those who dream of “something else” and “more”.

What do you dream of?