How do we treat jealousy?

How do we treat jealousy?

Serious passion, inflicting crimes, breaking dishes and throwing dirty talk at one, jealousy gnaws the inside of a man like wood carries does. For it is on her account that man makes movies, books are written, anti-stress diets are recommended, and teachings are issued, meant to mitigate its monstrous effects.

“The wreck/wound” usually sets in among two or more co-interested people, with the propitious terrain being that of stable love. That is, where the partners expect eternal adoration, not just occasional sex parties, enjoed as such.

Not even the situations caused by the relationships of lover-bachelors devoid of obligation are 100% exempt from symptoms of the syndrome in question. The nasty jealousy manifests itself so unpredictably and dangerously that those able to avoid it truly deserve a statue (be it a smaller one).

Specialists say that the lack of self-confidence and possessiveness spirit are among the main sources of anxiety about potential infidelity. The permanent obsession with the existence of a tempting being (fatal, of course) terrorises the thoughts of many mortals horrified by the likey LOSS of the partner. The pride (vanity) also has a hard word to say in this equation. Who would really like to be put aside in favor of another person?

As already mentioned, suspicions can infiltrate themselves even into an open, polygamous idyll, except that here, the fear of physical “betrayal” does not wreak havoc, but rather the idea of ​​competition.

The fear of surpassing oneself, of the resignation with the intransigent second place, or the destroying (ruining) of one’s own image (built for a long time and not seldom by sacrifices), intensely feeds... the passion. You probably know the feeling!

Up to a point, it is absolutely natural for any person to protect their “territory”. But most problems or frustrations come in when things go beyond reasonable reach, and behavior becomes aggressive or extremely unnatural.

 

What solutions are there, then, in order to save the soul from the claws of abominable “malady”?

1.-Adjusting accounts with one's own person, increasing self-confidence and imposing reality as a lifestyle acceptance. Whoever seeks to validate through others (an amplified tendency with predilection within a relationship) will always depend on the outside. And, as a consequence, he will stand 24 hours a day tense and strained like a bow, being afraid of criticism, of abandoning or detracting from the pedestal of his own self-assessments.

2.-Exercising of an utmost self-control over inner states or feelings. Regardless of what it would mean: giving up the compulsive reading of “the other’s’” SMS-es, to the idea that the man next to you owes obedience to the “gloomy” scenarios forged when something goes wrong and not as planned...

3.-Understanding of the fact that no one belongs to anyone, in no circumstance! Unfortunately, the whole society plots in support of the following “unwritten rule”: “engaged/taken” women and men (in fact, lovers of any kind and orientation) are becoming a kind of property, losing even their freedom and the freedom to dream of themselves in bed with somebody else.

4.-Awareness of the pressure of monogamy, still hovering over onto the collective mentality. The disengaging of it from its classical form is the perfect antidote against possessiveness crises, only if it comes from the heart and does not replace sporadic, conjunctural jealousy with a one “stipulated by provisions”, directly proportional to the freedom provided by “understanding”. Something like, “Yes, we can see other people as well, but this indulgence does not prevent me from following your steps insistently and from fretting and worrying myself, that you have found someone else, a better partner.”

5.-Not overcoming contextual boundaries. Claiming to receive awe (veneration) from your partner or temporary partner (performing sex against payment) that you would like to consider you as the “favorite” client, is a bizarre exaggeration, to say the least.

6.-Taking the time with other “problems”. No matter how difficult (hard) or easy to believe, the bad “habits” (tributary to jealousy) have been manifested for too much spare time. Obviously, the treacherous disease has deeper roots, but it is precisely the lack of “serious” preoccupations that sometimes brings it to the surface.

7.-Relaxation. That type of relaxation that depends on the personal attitude, not on time, space or circumstances, has tremendous effects upon everyday life.

Yet, it is possible for your immortal love to get bored and to abdicate, for the artificial intelligence to conquer the planet, women to subjugate men, splay jeans to get back into fashion. Anything is possible! Why should you stress upon things that cannot be controlled? Let life unfold by itself and let history follow its course. Those interested in getting something will do it regardless of the hindrances. Being always teased or criticised, being closely observed or being imposed restrictions all the time have not saved anyone from unhappiness!

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No matter how much we would wish to eliminate it, jealousy is still part of our emotional structure. It does not matter whether it comes out of mistrust or not, from the need for primacy, for power (over the other), decompensation of frustrated shortcomings... It lives in and through ourselves, and the only way to contain it is re-education, changing the perspective, optimizing the notion of INDEPENDENCE in the couple, whether or not we are talking about a couple in the common sense of the term, or we are referring to people strictly related to erotic interests. Therefore, it is highly needed to think outside of the “box”. Thinking beyond confines is highly required, joined by an appropriate conduct.