“What we want to do... do it whenever we want it. Because this WANT always changes.”
Most of us are accustumed to see everything within the Universe, as a repetitive coexistence of extremes: white/black, up/down, beautiful/incorrect... even this website relies on a binar system (0/1).
The tendency of looking things from a dual perspective influences inclusively our appreciation of human sexuality: man/woman. By keeping this principle of evaluation, the sexual orientation is at its turn divided (theoretically) in two classes: homosexual-heterosexual.
But, it is difficult to classify behaviours and especially the feelings of a person, only in terms of two categories. For a flexible presentation, but especially evolved and adapted to the objective existence, the acceptance of bisexuality too is imposed within this context.
From the second half oh XXth century, bisexuality has been the object of numerous studies which tried its inclusion within various theories or concepts, but far from the reality that evolved continuously. At present, the phenomenon is regarded as a perfect normal manifestation, especially due to its extended presence, both geographically and socially.
Bisexuality refers especially to the erotic behaviour and attraction of a human subject, for both genders. The term bisexual and its short form bi, is used as an adjective, in order to describe the sexual identity, with all cultural implications of the specific community to this orientation type. Many bisexuals feel that they have a more accentuated preference for a certain gender, but they don’t deny the attraction they feel for the other one (gender). Others merely manifest their interest for both genders equally.
Here are some things good to know:
Bisexuality is felt at an emotional and physical level, consisting in identifying and incorporating features of both genders. For example, the child identifies himself both with male and female persons at the same time, meaning both with his father and his mother. When a man realises that he “speaks like his mother”, he doesn’t question neither his sexual orientation nor his identity. The same goes for a woman who at a certain point discovers that she has the same character features like his father.
The psychological side of bisexuality incorporates, more or less harmoniously, fragments of woman and fragments of man, starting with active and passive moves which build the psychism.
Paradoxically, it is about both integration and exclusion at the same time.
Lapping over the masculine and the active, the man will learn little by little, to reject the feminine and to aim towards the male. Not to have trust in passivity, even though he is forced to build himself a behavioural armour which helps him “save the appearances”. Unfortunately, due to this attitude, he has all chances to lose an important intimate bound with his own body and own sensuality. The same thing happens with women too.
It is possible that bisexuality is being caused by the distribution of hormones inside our body. Freud and his successors stated that the unique basis of bisexuality is a hormonal one, even though they never could prove this thing. Endocrinologists from our days have scientifically proven (trough experiments) that a large quantity of male hormones can provoke... feminization to a man.
How could hormones influence our sexual orientation, according to this theory? All that can be said is that there is “something” feminine in every man and vice versa. The quantity differs for each one. In the case in which the characteristics of the opposite gender are present in a less measure, this aspect doesn’t influence the sexual life, which remains heterosexual as a matter of fact. Even when the quantity of hormones is dramatically higher, the characteristics of the other gender do not necessarily lead to bisexuality. It needs a whole pluralism of factors and a certain level of non-compliance to the “moral” norms, for the subject to start to manifest as a “bi”.
At the first sight, bisexuality remembers us of a state situated between two opposite “worlds”: heterosexuality and homosexuality. But things are not that simple at all. Bisexuality is nothing else but a present tendency inside all of us, no matter the gender, and can be appreciated as a special and autonomic way of expressing sexuality.
Bisexuals usually start as young people, passing through an inconstant period, considering that the sexual orientation or the affective equilibrium is more a conceived, imaginary thing, rather than an active one as a matter of fact. In order to clarify their intimate feelings, they must wait until maturity. This thing happens for two reasons. The first is that they will see in time a relative erectile dysfunction towards their opposite gender partners. The second one will be represented by the desires and fantasies considered as normal for them, bounded in large to the oral and anal sex, with subjects of the same gender.
After a while, discovering that they can fully satisfy these intimate pleasures (exactly as they want to) and that they will feel extremely well, they would not want to change anymore. And even if they would, they could not.
We all should accept them as they are.
Regarding the “traditional” relationships with the opposite gender persons, if understood, they are capable to invest a significant amount of effort in such interrelation, creating a perfect and stable heterosexual communion.
When partners know about their tendencies and try to satisfy their special desires, chances of a normal couple life are excellent.